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7 Tips for Balancing Marriage and Parenting to Flourish in Your Identity

Ever noticed how the ‘YOU’ who reveled in impromptu lunches and late night conversations with friends has evolved after embracing marriage and motherhood? It seems like a swift transition from being solely you to sharing life deeply with others, but that doesn’t mean you’ve lost your spark. In fact, amidst the daily dance of family life, your vibrant self continues to thrive, perhaps more enriched than ever. Let’s talk about how you can continue to shine and rediscover yourself, while still enjoying your family.

woman looking at her journal

Grab Some Alone Time

Setting aside time for yourself enriches your role in the family, offering a chance to recharge and return to your loved ones with renewed energy. If you can, set aside a segment of your day dedicated solely to you. It can be as little as 20 minutes.

What would you spend that time doing? Get cozy with that book you’ve been meaning to read, take a short nap, go out for a coffee, or simply take a long, uninterrupted shower. These moments of solitude serve will refresh you for the fulfillment of your family roles, allowing you to feel like yourself while still being mom and wife.

Rediscover Your Hobbies

Despite what you may think, you CAN integrate your personal hobbies and interests into your life as a wife and mother. Perhaps you excel at painting or have a flair for crafting. Why not weave these interests into your daily routine? Crafting or painting with the kids can be a lot of fun, but you can also set aside some time for solo activities.

For instance, creating personalized wine glasses could be a fun way to celebrate upcoming fun occasions, but you could also take your design skills to the next level and start a side hustle. It’s enjoyable, sparks creativity, and perhaps opens doors to new opportunities.

red-haired woman selecting a colored pencil to write in a journal

Engaging in a hobby like this allows you to express your individuality and share your talents with your loved ones, empowering you to maintain a fulfilling balance between personal interests and family commitments.

Find Your People

You know what’s amazing? Having a group of friends that get it. The ups, the downs, and the in-betweens of balancing marriage, motherhood, and that quest to find yourself again. Whether it’s old friends or new ones you meet in mom groups or online forums, these connections can be lifelines on those days when you feel like you’re on an island. After all, it takes a village—whether that be a village to help raise the kids or to help you be YOU again. 

Date Your Husband

Don’t forget about your partner in crime. Remember the days when it was all spontaneous road trips and late-night talks? Bringing some of that magic back doesn’t require grand gestures; it’s about enjoying the simple things together. Maybe it’s cooking a new recipe together after the kids are in bed or watching a movie with popcorn (and actually watching it, not dozing off halfway through).

Perfectly Imperfect

Embracing the imperfections of life brings its own kind of joy. There’s beauty in the unexpected, like impromptu takeout dinners or the laundry pile that seems to have its own personality. These moments aren’t interruptions to a perfect life; they are the essence of a lived-in, love-filled home. Celebrating these realities helps us appreciate the richness of life, finding happiness not in flawlessness, but in the genuine, heartfelt experiences of family living.

red-haired woman in hammock with her children

Embracing Boundaries

This one’s tough but oh-so-important. Learning to say no is like giving a little something extra back to yourself. It’s acknowledging that your time, energy, and peace of mind are precious. Not every invitation needs a yes, and not every school event requires your baked goods. Saying no sometimes means you’re saying yes to things that truly matter to you.

Soul Food

At the heart of this journey is you – the soul that needs nurturing and love. It’s about finding peace in the quiet moments, whether that’s through prayer and meditation, journaling, or simply sitting with your thoughts enjoying a warm cup of coffee before the crazy day begins.

Finding yourself amidst the whirlwind of marriage and motherhood isn’t about stepping away from your loved ones. It’s about blending your own dreams, interests, and self-care into the beautiful world of family life. It’s realizing that the woman who loved life before kids and marriage is still there, ready to shine brighter than ever.

So, what’s the takeaway here? It’s that it’s absolutely okay – in fact, necessary – to focus on yourself alongside being an amazing mom and a loving wife. Whether it’s picking up old hobbies, venturing into new passions, or just spending more time with your thoughts, every step you take is a step towards that vibrant, incredible you.

And remember, the journey to rediscovering yourself is not just a gift to you, but to your family too. A happy, fulfilled you brings so much more love, energy, and joy to those around you. So go ahead, take that step towards finding YOU again. Trust me, she’s been there all along, just waiting to come out and play. 

Author

  • I'm Donella, the voice, heart, and wit (sometimes) behind this blog. I homeschool my pre-teen son by day and moonlight as a blogger and freelance writer. I'm a Diet Pepsi aficionado with a bookshelf that's always overflowing. My two dogs—a German Shepherd and a Beagle—are my fluffy shadows. I love planning in my bullet journal almost as much as I love hoarding notebooks and pens. I may be an introvert who missed her calling as a desert hermit, but that just gives me more time to write, right?

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