Not all of us have three tense-associated ghosts of Christmas to convince the scrooge in our life, but good cheer can go a long way, thankfully. This might sound easier said than done if your relative or friend is a little less easy to deal with and feels morose at this time of year, but it’s worth caring for anyway.
The first thing to do is to avoid “artificial fun.” Some people might not really care for Christmas, but still feel completely opposed to any kind of enforced fun or celebrations in which they’re supposed to be the life of a party just out of obligation. Some people have an easier time with that, and perhaps you do. Some don’t. Just in the same way you can excite your dogs more than you can engage with a cat who isn’t interested right now.
Bringing festive cheer to the lovable scrooge in your family does suggest an opportunity though. If they have a nice time, everyone else does. Let’s consider how to engage them with care.
Consider Giving Them Responsibilities
You can hand a job or two to that person who struggles with the forced holiday cheer, as sometimes the best way to enjoy a party is to feel useful. If that family member has an important task and all of a sudden they’re thinking about everyone else having a good time, their focus changes from having to participate in loud, giddy games to being engaged in how well it goes. Now you don’t have to ask them to do everything of course, but you could ask them to be the official photographer, managing the memories, or maybe put them in charge of the playlist, giving them control over the background mood.
If you really want them to get involved, you might ask them to dress like Mr or Mrs Claus. It’s hard not to have a smile on your face if you’re doing it for the kids, even if you’re not the biggest Christmas fan.
Keep The Gifts Low-Key But Meaningful
Most often, the people who dislike the noise and clutter of the holidays don’t want expensive gifts or a stack of boxes under the tree. They’d prefer something modest that feels thoughtful, which shows you’ve paid attention to who they are. You could make a small photo album of past Christmases or print a favourite family photo and frame it with care. Little gestures like that can land more deeply in general and aren’t that costly to put together either – it shows you love them but you haven’t “made a fuss” or whatever term it is they’d use.. Even something like a handwritten letter or a jar of homemade jam with a simple tag can feel far more genuine than just a random gift hamper.
If you’re unsure what might suit them, looking through guides for Christmas gifts for grandparents can be a surprisingly good source of ideas. Those lists often include items that feel sentimental, practical, or personal and are sustainable for those of a more dignified time in their life.
Invite Them To More Appropriate Events
If the loud family dinner feels too much for your Scrooge, it might be better to invite them to a quieter, separate gathering where they can relax more easily. Perhaps this could take the form of a quieter pre-Christmas coffee date or a quick walk to look at the lights, something that removes the pressure of having to perform happiness in front of a big group of people.
It also shows you want to spend time with them and not just because of the yearly obligation. If you think they’re the kind of person who dislikes that “false fun,” as we mentioned (though we don’t consider it that of course), you may be able to break through a little.
Celebrate Christmas Through The Children In Your Family
Children, who are always excited about the festive period and don’t have the hard cynicism we adults tend to learn can be wonderful at this time of year. They also remind everyone why the season matters in the first place, with their laughter, the rustle of wrapping paper, and the joy of anticipation and excitement about Father Christmas eating his treat fill a room with warmth.
It takes a hard heart to not at least grin a little at this, so perhaps you don’t need to change the Scrooge, just invite them along and let them make their own fun. As long as they’re not actively dragging down the event, you may be surprised.
With this advice, we hope you can still bring festive cheer, even to that lovable Scrooge in your family.